I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
