The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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