Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
