My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
