It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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