I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Four minutes until I can fart!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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