Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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