That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
