Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dick very happy bro
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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