; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
