He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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