Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
one might say we're banned from that church
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
i came on her dog
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
