Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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