KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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