come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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