I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
