Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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