what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize
