There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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