have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
