i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
