I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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