Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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