I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
