fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
