This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She tied me up with her honor cords...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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