But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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