I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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