It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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