dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
