Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
