k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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