thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
