Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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