I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
