you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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