Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
