i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
