I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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