I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
