Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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