M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
