you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize