Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
