i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
