About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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