Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
