If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
