we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
