I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
