I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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