Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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