we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
