What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
