While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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