just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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