I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How external is "for external use only"?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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