I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize