I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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