I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Randomize
