i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
