"it" just moved
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
