He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
