the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Never underestimate the power of titties
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