Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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